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Friday, July 22, 2011

What my words mean

I eat up your attention,
 every morsel you dangle in front of my face.
Begging for more,
notice me.

This matters,
right?

I fear the day when my words won't matter.
What am I without this?
This is all I know,
and yet am I even good at it?

How daunting is the thought that
the one thing that matters to you
doesn't matter the world.

Isn't that what we all fear?
Invisibility.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Hypocrite

When I thought you couldn't stoop any lower,
When I thought your lies were all done....
Seems like you have a trick or two still up your sleeve,
because you go and you do this, and then you run.

Away from the truth your words fly,
and convincing smiles blur the lies.
But it will always be there, what you've done
Hidden deep inside.

You hypocrite, who justifies all that you do with lies, 
then judges with an iron rod.
You've compromised your "truths" and "morals"
By quoting your so called "god"

I thought you had changed because you said you did,
Dad how can you do the things that you do?
I thought you said you loved me,
I guess that was a lie too.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Shadows

The sun is bright,
illusion,
what monster hides behind your
beautiful folds?


A child down the street greets
the warm day with a 
smile and a laugh.
Opening his arms
to grasp at the air
with his chubby fingers,
his face skyward.

The world is his.
To explore.
To create.

But his smile is unaware
and his heart is not prepared
for this world.

I shudder to think of the day
that he must face the sun
unfiltered by the sheltering leaves,
and without a breeze to cool his face.

He does not know that 
monsters hide behind beauty and promises.
He does not know that
the more terrible monsters are those who
 once upon a time, brought sunlight to your life.
Only to take it away.
He does not know that 
one day the sun will forsake him
and throw him into a darkness, 
complete.

He does not know, but 
he will learn, one day;
all too soon, that
the brighter the light is,
the darker his shadows will become.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Cracked sidewalks and secrets

Cracked sidewalks and secrets.
I care and I've kept yours.
You say you care
more than me, 
but you step on the cracks,
Waterfalls in my eyes.

Your love is circumstantial,
its cruel to lead me on.
Slippery slopes and endless circles
always end in pain.

Slipping and falling,
I don't need your help to push me farther down.
But you seem to think I do.

Soft, beautiful lies,
caramel sweet.
I see through your mask,
but you lie so convincingly
you believe your own lies.

It's done, it's over.
Your facade fades,
your mind and love and emotion 
change.
Your face drops. 
And like the crack of a whip
you start and won't finish 
until I lie down,
my bleeding heart on the floor.

Step on it.
Step on the cracks.
Step on my heart.
Go on,
reveal all my secrets,
you have proved you truly don't care.
Your true self.
But I will always care,
and keep you in my heart
and keep your secrets.
You are too important not to,
though I know I'm not to you.

It's over, 
you plundered and took
everything from me.
Take until you are satisfied.
I don't have the heart to stop you,
Nor the will.

My sad shoes turn away from you,
my eyes on the cracked sidewalks,
and I finally walk away;
your secrets burdening my pockets.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Meaning

You who is not heard
knows what it feels like,
the moment the time is right
you are at a loss,
of what to say,
your neat columns crumble
and disappear.

Impossible to convey.

You of all people should know 
that feelings, 
lose there meaning, 
when spoken.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Liar

When you say 'I love you' 
I cringe.
Because my hardened heart 
wants to soften.
But I know what will happen if I do,
If I let you in,
Just like all the other times.
You will hurt me
and I will harden again.

Each time a little more of me
chips away.

Forgive and forget,
you say.
You hypocrite.
My heart shrivels in fear
at your love.

Whatever it is that you named
'Love'.

'I love you'
I want to believe

'I love you'
But I know the truth

'I love you'
But what if I'm wrong, like you say?

'I love you'
Please don't

'I love you' 
I won't fall for it again

'I love you' 
I can't fall for it again

'I love you'
You say...

I want to believe so bad,
one more chance won't hurt...
But it does and always will.
But a part of me will always yearn
with a sickening desire
for you to love me once more,
I used to love a liar.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Identity

Be like others,
but be like yourself.
There's just so much pressure 
to be someone else.

Be your own individual,
But be like your brother.
Be your own person,
But be like your mother.

You radical,
You leader,
You visionist, 
You traitor,

Be You but be Him,
Be You but be Myself.
Be You but be Her,
Be You but for heavens sakes don't be Yourself.

Cat Scratches

I cannot escape,
these feelings never leave.
Words pull from my mind slowly
and smiles strain against me.
Pretending hurts even more than 
the truth.
Everything is tinged 
a sickly sweet gray.
Even the brightest and happiest moments
eventually give way to the cracked and bleeding surface,
hidden underneath.
Always hidden underneath. 
I cannot escape.
I cannot handle it.
Cat scratches