Amanda

Memories hurt and die

Does she remember like I do?

I sit in my room after all these years.

How improbable

To think that I would be imagining

our friendship at this moment.

Has she ever thought of me too?

Once?

Twice?

Never?

After all these years?

How stupid to be sad of a friendship dead

She doesn’t care, and neither do I

But why do I feel like crying?

It was not my fault, but, then again

It wasn’t hers.

It was all the shit our parents fed us

On religion and difference

And tolerance and persecution

All the hypocrisy and propaganda

Caused our distance

And causes my mind to drift on seas I haven’t

Sailed on in a long time.

And slowly lose myself on the black tides,

Choppy and foreign

And familiar.

A friendship lost for what?

Stupidity.

I’ve seen you, but we cannot speak like we used to.

I’ve see your face reflected in the churning

Currents next to me,

Distorted.

And when it clears for that split second

Between waves, I see us, Amanda,

Young and free again.

We could be…

No we can’t.

I can only hold on to that second

For so long.

Close my eyes and close my heart

Like our parents did for us so long ago

And told us to.

I’m so sorry, Amanda.

I see you, Amanda...

But we can never be the same,

I hold on to the past so sweet

and brave against the present so bleak

and keep walking.